If the symptoms you are suffering include a lack of slapstick and innuendo, well Oooh-Er matron, get yourself admitted at The Royal. And I don’t mean Liverpool’s new flagship hospital. I’m talking about the city’s Royal Court Theatre.
In fact, everyone is talking about this fabulous comedy written by, and starring, Lindzi Germain, who plays hospital tea-trolly dolly, Teresa McDonald. Additional material was supplied by Angela Simms and Lynn Francis, who respectively play Nurse Florence and the magnificently loud-mouthed and disorderly Ward Orderly, Mo McGuire.
The play is set in the very last medical ward to be evacuated at the old Liverpool Royal Hospital on the day the demolition team move in with their jack hammers and wrecking ball.
These three talented ladies have built on the foundations of the “Carry-on” comedies and taken the slapstick and innuendo to a whole new level of hilarity. Everyone else has already moved to the brand new hospital, and in the last ward to close before the demolition crew move in, they go about the business of saving lives whilst the crumbling old hospital building, quite literally, comes crashing down around their ears.
One of the lives they save is that of the grumpy nil-by-mouth-unless-it’s-alcohol patient Walter Bush, played by the inimitable Alan Stocks. With no doctor available, rookie nurse Florence, who’s training involved watching every episode of ‘Casualty’, removes his appendix to the sound of the program’s theme tune.
When the wrecking ball struck, the very convincing jaded hospital ward, became an equally convincing disaster site right before the audience’s eyes. There was no lights-out or behind-the-curtain scene shifting. It was engineered in a manner that should earn set designer Mark Walters an Oscar (or whatever awards set designers get).
Then amid the mayhem, demolition man Paddy O’Shaughnessy, played by actor Danny O’Brien, gallantly arrives on the scene, setting nurse Florence’s heart a’fluttering and ultimately becoming hero of the hour.
Sadly, one patient didn’t make it. Mrs Llewellyn died in her hospital bed just fifteen minutes into the play, despite nurse Florence’s shockingly bad best efforts with the defibrillator. Actor Phillip Hesteltine might not of had a single line to learn but must surely get the Golden Bedpan award for “Best Corpse”. He was on stage for the entire play, remaining straight-faced and ashen throughout, whilst enduring a string of hilarious indignities.
The Royal is a delightful fast-moving comedy jam-packed with wonderful one-liners, lots of action and has a great story-line running through it. All six actors did this clever script proud and were a credit to director Cal McCrystal.
The first week saw the theatre running out of seats faster than the NHS is running out of beds. So if you want an injection of fabulous fun, get your self on the waiting list now before it’s run at The Royal Court ends on the 23rd of September. Box Office