The Daily Wail
Disclaimer: I did not go out and buy a Daily Mail!!

Okay. Now we’ve got that clear, let’s examine the headlines:
- Am I really arsed whether Price Harry’s new bit of royal fluff gets to manage Manchester United…?
. - Do I really believe that a Daily Mail reporter can even count to 82 without an abacus, let alone be able to master percentages?
Ah well – so long as it gets some people to buy their comic!
. - And as for drinking Myleene’s breast milk…
Oh, Hang on a minute. This could actually be a viable “story”.
You see: If pressed, I would have to ask: “Do I have to drink it out of a glass or can I just cut out the “middle man”?